SteelSentinel

Palms sweating as my heart is pounding. We will meet after all this time, the one that left my soul in shreds. But was never forgotten, never lost from my thoughts. Time ticks away but i feel lost in a reverie, moments long gone come to mind. The heart ache beckons me to follow it down to its frozen hell. Panick creeps up on me, i decide to run far away from here. A soft touch on the shoulder, brings me crashing back to reality and i look into those eyes..

How I long for the simplicity of right and wrong , good and evil. The subtle but unmistakable guide of destiny and fate. This chaotic life of choices has made me suffer so much. Try to please , never disappoint always worrying about opinions and choices. Drained off pleasure from living this life. True love , destiny and meant to be. Give me blind life , predetermined outcomes so I can blame fate, blame chance. Let me be a character in a completed story and simply serve my purpose.

When fear nests in your heart corrupting your soul, justified but corruptive, rotting your soul from within. When love turns to indifference, empty and devoid of hope, innocent eyes look upon you and see their world collapse. Then you realize you ain't unique, worthy of a happy ending, you had to be there and work for it, cry tears of blood, to stain the sky with your pain but you looked the other way. Then you realize death comes to us all but far before that, we kill, the ones that stood next to us and took the hits with us. On our final moments we realize, we are alone, truly, deeply, finally alone to face the unknown once again.

I see you standing in the endless plane without a hope, blood is gushing form your gaping wound but still you stand. Like the last remnant of decency a wretched soul possesses, devoid of worth but still there to shoulder the weight of the world. As the tears fill your eyes you remember what used to be inside, the warmth that made you smile, that made you live. I see the light of life wither in your cold eyes as you look upon me, and you rise to the black sky, leaving me behind alone once more. to elysium.

When I woke up, hunger drove me into another mostly emptied out store. I couldn't go home and face what was there again, its was summer so I slept in the streets in empty houses or stores, anywhere that I didn't see a dead body nearby. My sleep was torment in its own right, minutes of blissful oblivion and hours of hellish nightmares. In the next few days after that fateful one , I walked the streets blindly, with no volition , no purpose except survival. There was no way for the few of us remaining to bury the dead so disease was festering And in those first trying days there was no way to trust another not to kill you. At first , when I saw another person , I would hide but soon I realized that they were just as frightened and sick of death as I was, there was no fight left in them, they just wanted to crawl somewhere and die. Soon another trial came upon us, power failed and gas ended. The water supply failed as the automated systems that went on working gave out without any

The weirdness outside, the lights worked. I was home. I called out to Sarah. Where was she? It was night already. She should be home. I turned on the lights in an empty the kitchen. I went to the bedroom next and there I saw it ...i saw .. and fainted! I just passed out – struck down by the sheer horror of what I suddenly realized I had done. When i woke up I wanted to be blind so I couldn't see her. That night , when i looked upon what had been Sarah, there on our bed, I realized through the fog on my mind that I had done that. I've lived with that guilt ever since and will die with that guilt upon my last breath. Some things are too much to think about, even now after all this time.. Often o think to myself that I don't have to remember every ghastly detail of the way the old world ended , but I cant rid my mind of it. In the gray morning I staggered out of the house to a world filled with ash raining from the clouds of smoke that signaled the end of the world. In our collective

What has happened to my mind I don't recognize myself Always lost, forever blind On I wander in my Hell Who brought me here? Keeps me in fear? With every tear Hope disappears... Something holds me by the hand Leads me deep into the dark In this strange and unknown land I can only clutch my heart Can I escape From this bleak fate? Find my way back Through all the black? I don't know which way to turn For every path looks the same Maybe at last I will learn Who it is that I became And come next morn My soul be torn But sound the horn A shade is born